blackrican23 Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 At some point in the history of boxing, someone decided that it was compulsory for every fighter to have a nickname. And since that point, the sport has been plagued by awful nicknames. Rather than being something you have to earn, nicknames are something your manager thinks of before your first fight.For every Juan "The Hispanic Causing Panic" Lazcano, there are hundreds of Magic Men, Prides of [insert Shitbox Town] and Sons of God (OK, there's only one SOG, Andre Ward, but it's a spectacularly bad nickname that makes no sense and seems kind of blasphemous for an overtly Christian athlete, but I digress). Amid the dross, there are some superb monikers in boxing. Here is an analysis of what makes a nickname work. Erislandy 'The American Dream' LaraIf a man can't defect from one of the world's last communist countries, get caught and shipped back, defect again, move to Germany, lose a big fight due to bad judging, sign with Al Haymon, draw with Vanez Martirosyan and eventually get a superfight with a Mexican redhead then the American Dream really is dead. Wladimir 'Dr Steelhammer' Klitschko and Vitali 'Dr Ironfist' KlitschkoThe appeal of the Klitschko brothers' nicknames is all about Eastern Bloc schlock. The Rocky-villain factor is dialed up to 11, and with it a certain homoeroticism (exhibits A, B, and C). The schlock factor is so high on these nicknames that they're hardly ever used, which is exactly why we should never forget them. Ruslan 'The Siberian Rocky' ProvodnikovSpeaking of Eastern Europe, Ruslan Provodnikov's nickname is outstanding. Especially when you consider that he most likely gave it to himself. But his journey, from the Siberian town of Beryozovo to ESPN and then into boxing's true elite, really is the kind of stuff the Rocky films were based on. You get the feeling, though, that he missed Rocky IV. Marco 'Captain' HuckHe's a Serbian pirate (who still has two hands), what more can you say. Evgeny 'The Mexican Russian' GradovichHe's Russian, but he fights like a Mexican. His name could not be less Mexican. He's a Mexican Russian like he forgot he left some enchiladas in the oven (I'm sorry, I'll show myself out). James 'The Mandingo Warrior' KirklandThere is something a bit strange about naming yourself after a semi-pornographic 1970s B Movie/adult film star. There's something a bit strange about James Kirkland, though, so it kind of fits. Of course, if Kirkland's nickname refers to the West African tribe more often referred to as the Mandinka (which the movie and, uh, movie guy were named after), then I've got this totally wrong. Marcos 'El Chino' MaidanaThis is one of those Spanish nicknames that doesn't really make sense. Why would a guy from Argentina call himself "the Chinaman?" Would a guy from America call himself "the Australian?" Hell, Adrien Broner got in trouble just for saying "Mexican." Whatever, we love you Marcos, you can call yourself whatever you damn well please. Miguel 'El Titere' VazquezYou have a choice of any big cat, bird of prey or 1980s action hero in the world for your nickname, and you go for… "the Puppet?" What is Miguel Vázquez trying to imply? Is he captive to special interests? If so, who? And why haven't they controlled him in a fight that any sane human being would actually want to watch? Guillermo 'El Chacal' RigondeauxWith his dark, soulless eyes and ruthless body punching, Guillermo Rigondeaux's "Jackal" moniker suits him perfectly. Not that jackals punch you in the guts. More just that he's a sinister kind of guy when the mood strikes him. Still waiting for a CJ Cregg-style rendition of the song, though. Adrián 'El Confesor' HernándezThere's a PhD waiting to be done on Catholicism and boxing in Latin America and "the Confessor" is ready for the starring role. The nickname conjures the image of a junior flyweight priest getting into the ring, collar and all. Imagine how all of his poor, guilt-ridden Mexican foes must feel. http://www.theguardian.com/sport/queensberry-rules-boxing-blog/2014/may/28/best-nicknames-boxing-wladimir-vitali-klitschko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackrican23 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 The sisters is a much better nick name Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WBF OG mexfighter Posted May 29, 2014 WBF OG Share Posted May 29, 2014 el chino maidana is because of his stretched eyes. he looks Asian. Michael "Second to" Nunn was fucking clever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackrican23 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 Boretto man is what the B stands for joshy actually gayest nickname ever = helicopter sweep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WBF OG mexfighter Posted May 29, 2014 WBF OG Share Posted May 29, 2014 Motor City Cobra was insanely awesome Another strange name was "Cepillo". A cepillo is a brush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WBF OG mexfighter Posted May 29, 2014 WBF OG Share Posted May 29, 2014 His nickname is "Cochulito". He comes from an area where they call the residents "Cochul". Cochulito because he's little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WBF OG Neil_ Posted May 30, 2014 WBF OG Share Posted May 30, 2014 johnny "the entertainer" nelson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WBF OG Neil_ Posted May 30, 2014 WBF OG Share Posted May 30, 2014 i remember years ago sergio mora fought this guy http://boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=77539&cat=boxer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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